Let’s Be Real: 5 Pageant Opinions You Might Not Agree With

Hello!

In pageantry, opinions are everywhere. From contestants and trainers to parents and friends and sometimes, those opinions can cause friction. Having a perspective is healthy, but the thoughts I’m about to share are just that: my own. Some of you may agree, others may not, and that’s perfectly fine. My goal here isn’t to please everyone, but to share the unfiltered truths I’ve gathered through my experiences. Consider these my “hot takes” on pageantry; honest, real, and maybe even a little uncomfortable.

1. Wear What Looks Good On You, Not What You Think Looks Good

   It’s easy to fall in love with a gown you see on a model or in a store window and think, “Wow, that’s the winning dress!” But once you try it on, it can sometimes be too much. In pageantry, more isn’t always better. The right gown should highlight you, not overshadow you. The same goes for color; a shade you adore might not flatter your skin tone on stage, and that’s something you need to weigh carefully if you’re serious about winning. This is where professional guidance matters. As a trainer, I’ve had my fair share of tough conversations with clients who fell in love with a gown that simply didn’t work. It’s never easy to suggest a different direction, especially when emotions and price tags are involved. Some even go ahead and buy a gown or outfit without consulting me, which makes it harder to pivot later. That’s why many trainers include a clause in their contracts stating they have the final say on wardrobe decisions. It's not about control; it's about making sure the overall vision aligns with what will help you succeed. The key is to choose a trainer you truly trust and to make sure your styles and expectations align from the start.

   
   

2. Your Hair Color Matters More Than You Think

   For many women, hair is everything. It’s a powerful form of self-expression and a reflection of personality. Outside of pageants, it’s natural to choose a hair color simply because you love it. But on stage, the wrong shade can work against you. If your hair color doesn’t complement your skin tone, it can wash out your overall look instead of enhancing it. I’ve seen countless contestants fall into this trap, pairing an unflattering hair color with a gown or outfit that also doesn’t suit their complexion. The result is a look that clashes rather than comes together. On top of that, stage lighting changes everything. Bright lights tend to make hair appear warmer than it looks in everyday life, which can shift how your color comes across under the spotlight. Styling matters, too. For example, if you have long hair that falls to your waist and it’s curled to frame your face, remember that your face will be surrounded by that color. On stage, this can either beautifully highlight your features or make you appear washed out and overly warm.

   
   

3. Opt-Out of a Silver, Gold, or Nude-Pink Gown

   I know this opinion is about to ruffle some feathers! Just hear me out. Under the stage lights of a big production like Miss USA or Miss Universe, a silver or gold gown can sparkle like you’re dripping in diamonds, giving the illusion of luxury and red carpet. It’s breathtaking in that kind of setting. But here’s the reality: most local, county, and even state pageants don’t have the same production value. In those settings, a silver or gold gown may not flatter your skin tone and can easily wash you out. On top of that, think about how many other contestants feel the exact same way about silver and gold. If you look back at past Miss Universe competitions, you’ll see plenty of contestants in those shades. While stunning, it makes it harder to stand out. The same goes for nude-pink gowns. While they may feel elegant and soft, they can often blend into your skin tone and create a washed-out effect on stage. Unless you can work that colors, and truly stand out, I would recommend to find the colors that truly flatter you, and don’t be afraid to go bold with them. Every shade has variations in tone, so you can still find something unique that feels like you. Remember, a princess doesn’t have to wear silver, gold, or pink to look royal. Sometimes it’s the vibrant, unexpected colors that make you unforgettable.

   
   

4. Trainers Are Not A One-Size-Fits-All

   Before selecting a trainer, take the time to meet with them and get a sense of their personality and coaching style. Do your research on a trainer’s past delegates. Look at the outfits they wore, listen to their speeches, and study their overall stage presence. Ask yourself: Do I connect with the way those contestants carried themselves? Do I see myself reflected in their style and performance? I understand that trainers can be scarce, especially if they’ve already committed to working with another contestant, and it can feel tempting to jump at the first opportunity. But remember, finding the right trainer for you is essential. You should feel like the true focus of their guidance and support. Trainers vary in approach: some are very intense and want to control every decision, while others allow room for collaboration and input. The key is to find someone whose style and goal aligns with yours. Once you’ve committed to a trainer, it’s still important to voice your opinions, thoughts, and concerns throughout the journey. A trainer’s role is to ensure you look and perform your absolute best on competition day, but that doesn’t mean your perspective doesn’t matter. If something feels off in the weeks or months of preparation, speak up. A good trainer will explain why something does or doesn’t work and help find solutions that make you feel confident. Some trainers can be more straight forward and be out of your comfort zone which can cause a decrease in your confidence and mental well-being. If that is an area that is important to you, that may be an indicator that they are not the right fit for you. For example, if you feel insecure about showing certain areas of skin or want to wear your hair down when your trainer suggests otherwise, that conversation should lead to clear reasoning and compromise. At the end of the day, a trainer’s job is to be a problem solver and build a win-win relationship with you. Of course, take this advice with a grain of salt. Some trainers truly have “the eye” for what works, and others may not. Trust your instincts and choose the trainer who empowers you to shine.

   
   

5. Being Budget-Friendly Can Still Win You The Crown

   When I competed in pageants, most of my resources came directly from my family and people I knew. I was intentional about where I spent my money, focusing only on the essentials. I recycled accessories and wardrobe pieces from one competition to the next, proving to myself that it’s absolutely possible to compete on a budget. Today, I see contestants raising upwards of $10,000 to prepare for a single pageant, sometimes draining every last penny. While finding sponsors can feel intimidating and overwhelming, I want to be living proof that you don’t need a massive budget to succeed. Being budget-friendly simply means leaning on your creativity, your resourcefulness, and the people who are willing to support you. There is no shame in borrowing gowns, jewelry, or accessories. In fact, most of the items purchased for pageants end up tucked away in a closet after the competition. When you embrace a budget-conscious mindset, you give yourself permission to be inventive: to borrow, repurpose, and even DIY if needed. At the end of the day, success in pageantry isn’t measured by how much you spend. It’s measured by how well you present yourself, how confident you feel, and how much you shine on stage.

Whew! I’m glad I was able to share all of those with you. So, what do you think about my hot takes? Do you agree, disagree, or maybe have a few of your own? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to have opinions, as long as we share them with respect. These raw and real insights are the same ones I share with my delegates to help them see pageantry from a different perspective.

At the end of the day, the greatest investment you can ever make is in yourself. Take the time to ground yourself, discover your purpose, and define your “why.” The deeper your confidence grows in who you are, the more success you’ll find in every area of life. True victory isn’t measured by a crown or a title, but by the person you become along the journey.

Nov 2013; wearing an clearance gown I got for $80.